


i live, die wherever you are

by deathlytireddan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Forever Home, M/M, Moving, Set in 2019 or 2020 ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-13 23:02:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19260925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathlytireddan/pseuds/deathlytireddan
Summary: Dan and Phil moving into their forever home, except they have no food and want to go home.Something that was supposed to be so exciting, so pleasurable, and ended up being stressful and muscle - achingly tiring. More so than any other move, because this felt like it was supposed to be better from the beginning, from years ago. The forever home move.





	i live, die wherever you are

**Author's Note:**

> Title and inspiration from Barns Courtney’s song You and I 
> 
> A little thing I wrote before bed (I should really go to bed, oops). I hope you like it :)
> 
> I’m sorry for any mistakes my tired brain typed and missed
> 
> Warnings: none

_I wanna swim, swim out into the dark night_

_I wanna melt you down into the stars_

_I wanna crumble, dumble like a landslide_

_I wanna live, die wherever you are_

It’s been a long day. 

An even longer weekend moving boxes and the furniture they’re keeping across London. An even longer month they’d spent packing and choosing new furniture. Or the year before all that, spent carefully looking through lists of houses and writing down things they want, things they don’t want, budgeting and deciding on a scarify permant future. 

There’s the embarrassingly long time spent arguing over the cool, neutral paint colors Dan wants (Phil wants the living room to be warm, at least, and the bedroom) and the windows Phil wants (Dan will buy curtains that will only be closed most of the time, instead of all the time, and only all of the time in the bedroom). 

Then there was all the time even before that, even before London, in a tiny flat in Manchester that didn’t even have a bedside table. 

But it’s now, and now is midnight with all the windows open letting in a cool summer breeze, Phil fretting over a cracked mug and where to put a succulent terrarium and Dan leaning against the kitchen cabinets with his eyes closed. He can’t hear traffic, drilling, or police sirens. It’s calm and the air is smooth. 

Everything would be perfect if he couldn’t sense Phil’s annoyance, his own annoyance, and both of their stomachs’ annoyance. 

“Dan,” Phil finally comes to a stop in front of Dan. “We don’t have anything to eat because you forgot to do the shopping!”

They’re in the middle of a hungry, angry debate about whose fault it is that there’s no food. 

“I didn’t know I was supposed to do any shopping!” Dan bursts out, frowning up at Phil, genuinely hurt at his tone. 

Phil gives up on the terrarium and the argument, setting both down. He pushes a half - empty box Dan had given up on out of the way and plops down on the floor. He looks apologetic, and worried. 

Dan knows Phil is feeling guilty, like he ruined this entire weekend. Something that was supposed to be so exciting, so pleasurable, and ended up being stressful and muscle - achingly tiring. More so than any other move, because this felt like it was supposed to be better from the beginning, from years ago. _The forever home move._

Instead, Phil probably just wants to wake up a month later with everything done how he wants it and have a nice morning with the garden shining through the windows and Dan waiting with pancakes. 

Dan takes Phil’s hand, and wraps an arm around his waist for good measure because he feels the same way.

Disappointed, and sad that they’re disappointed. 

“It’s so quiet,” he says after a long minute.

Phil closes his eyes, leaning his head on Dan’s shoulder. “It is.” He sighs. “I’m sorry.”

Dan kisses the corner of his mouth. Brushes his drooping quiff up. “Me too.” 

“I feel...” Phil trails off. He looks around the beautiful kitchen, with the perfect cabinets and a new, soft rug, and the stupidly empty fridge. “I want to be done. Can we just go to sleep? And wake up with everything the way we want?” 

Dan smiles a little. “Yes, please, bub.” 

“Dan, is it bad I want to go home?” Phil’s chin wobbles. 

The smile slides off immediately. He moves both arms around Phil and squeezes tight, rubbing a hand over Phil’s back. Phil tucks his head under Dan’s chin, hiding his face.

“I do too,” Dan swallows. “But I’m here, and so’s the bed, and I’m sorry to break it to you but I don’t think the landlord would like us sneaking back in very much.”

Phil shrugs. “Maybe.”

“I reckon he deserves it, though.” 

“Yeah.”

Dan leans back reluctantly, still keeping Phil close in his arms. As much as he just wants to stay on the kitchen floor and sleep he knows they need food badly and will feel infinitely better with it and a good nights rest. 

“I love you,” he says it as gently as he can, with every inch of him that feels it.

Dan wipes away twin tear tracks and an eyelash from that beautiful, exhausted face. “We’re home, Phil.” Another tear. Dan stops it from going into his mouth and kisses him swiftly before any more fall. Phil sighs into it and bites down gently, hands reaching up to the back of Dan’s neck and his chin. 

It’s Dan’s turn to break away and have his tears wiped. “Fuck, Phil. I’m so hungry.” He sniffs. 

Phil nods in agreement. But he leans in again first and presses their mouths together in a warm, teary, reassuring kiss. 

“Tesco?” Dan whispers into it. He really wants to keep kissing Phil, but his stomach is starting to properly hurt now. 

Phil giggles. “Mmmm, talk Tesco to me.” 

Dan scoffs. He does give Phil another hug, though. Because they’re in their home, forever, unless the floor caves in, and Dan’s got Phil right here and against him, and Phil’s got Dan right here and against him.

**Author's Note:**

> [reblog on tumblr ](https://mylionbabe.tumblr.com/post/185670455075/i-live-die-wherever-you-are)
> 
> Kudos and comments are very appreciated (and read many times over and over again)!


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